'Tis the Season

There is an episode of Seinfeld where Frank Costanza is told to use the phrase "serenity now" every time he gets angry to help keep his blood pressure down. By the end of the episode, Frank, George, and Kramer have all discovered that "serenity now" really causes them to bottle up their emotions and actually causes their anger issues to be worse...serenity now, insanity later. And even though that catchphrase seemed not to work so well for those characters, I have to share a mantra that I find particularly helpful this time of year.

This little motto I'm about to share with you has a myriad of uses; sure, it helps with anger management, but I also employ it to justify certain behaviors, to deflect awkward moments, and to end unwanted conversations. The phrase I want to share with you as your go-to for this merrymaking month is: 'tis the season!

We can all agree that December is a month where we find ourselves overworked, over stressed, and sometimes, just plain over IT in general. That's where my handy little slogan can really help ease the pressure. Why, just last week, I approached a stranger in the (rainy) grocery store parking lot and commented, "I hope you enjoy the parking space you stole from me. 'Tis the season!" Under normal circumstances, that could have been a heated exchange. However, by adding that festive ending, I felt a sense of release, the offending stranger was taken by surprise, and the situation was diffused.

Friday night, we went to dinner with friends. Our waiter asked if we wanted to start with a tableside guacamole, or perhaps an order of queso? Yes, and yes, we answered. When one of my dining companions raised an eyebrow and apparently felt a tinge of guilt at the thought of overindulging, I threw him a big smile and my giddiest "'Tis the season!" We had a good laugh...and then we also had both appetizers and a darn good time.

Without fail, I attempt every year around this time to brave the mall to do some Christmas shopping and it results in full-blown retail chaos. Cashiers, without regard for the crowded misery I am enduring, always like to tell me about how absolutely wretched they find their job, how they can't wait to leave for the day, the poor management they are forced to suffer, and the like. I used to listen semi-patiently and wait for them to wind down on their confessional, until I discovered that a quick interjection of, "Oh, well, 'tis the season!" and a dash in the other direction will end that agony in the blink of an eye.

Still not convinced? Let me further demonstrate all the uses for this little maxim:

Christmas cookies for breakfast? 'Tis the season!

Your package still hasn't arrived, and the tracking just keeps saying "shipping date has changed?" 'Tis the season!

Maxed out your credit card buying gifts for family members you don't really even care for? 'Tis the season!

Eggnog on a Tuesday? 'Tis the season!

Your clothes are all too tight, but you keep eating your way through all the good food and just wearing stretchy pants instead? 'Tis the season!

The forecast said you were getting 18 inches of snow and you only got a dusting? The forecast said you would only get a dusting but you got 18 inches of snow? 'Tis the season!

I could go on and on, but I sense that you're getting my point. It's a universal unifier, an explanation for everything, a soother for any situation. Let it be your greeting, your farewell, your conversation filler. Allow it to end an argument, charm a stranger, or calm your frazzled yuletide nerves. Throw it around like confetti and see if it works for you as joyfully as it has worked for me. I'm using it virtually every hour on the hour as the holiday season closes in on me progresses, and I can practically feel it lower my blood pressure every single time it is uttered.

And if, like that Seinfeld episode, it turns out that turning this phrase winds up causing insanity later? Well, 'tis the season for that, too.

You better believe it.