Better in the Bahamas

I'll be honest: when I realized our Bahamas vacation was happening right smack in the middle of a) selling our house and b) buying a new house, I felt guilty. Could I really justify spending money on a vacation? Did we even have the time to spare--I mean, shouldn't we be packing boxes instead of lounging by the pool? Then, after a couple of weeks into this moving process and endless inspections, appointments, questions, and chaos, I realized we needed a vacation now more than ever.

We left bright and very early on Saturday in order to get in the most vacation possible, STAT. The vacation powers-that-be obviously knew that we were tired and frazzled and needing some rest and relaxation, because we were upgraded to first class for our flight to Nassau. Bloody Marys in hand and Bahama bound, we were off to a great start.

We landed mid morning, cleared customs, and made our way to one of our most favorite places: the Atlantis resort. After we checked in, we ditched our suitcases in favor of swimsuits and flip flops, and grabbed a quick lunch at one of our favorite spots, Murray's New York-style deli down at the marina, before we headed out to the pool. The weather was gorgeous and we spent the rest of the day soaking in the sun before heading to dinner, where we feasted on conch salad and fresh lobster. As we left dinner, a raucous junkanoo parade made its way down the street and we were smack in the middle of all the bright costumes, dancing, and music, which was highly entertaining. So far, so good.

If you've ever wondered what it's like to be caught in the middle of a junkanoo parade, this it it.

Here are are in front of one of the many Chihuly blown-glass sculptures at Atlantis,
literally basking in the glow of the Bahamas.

Sunday was our best day of the trip. After a quick breakfast, we made our way to the pool and there was barely a cloud in the sky. The resort was crowded, and our biggest problem that day was scoring two lounge chairs side by side. Ah, those were the days. Or day. I digress. Atlantis has several water slides and attractions, so we alternated reading in the sun and sipping cocktails with grabbing a tube and riding the rides. That night, we headed back down to the marina for a casual dinner and grabbed some pizza to eat by the waterfront.

Oh, vacation, I've been waiting for you.

My view for the day on Sunday. A girl could get used to this.

Clint thought perhaps this artwork was the inspiration for my dress I wore to dinner...

But I was thinking more of Blanche's bedroom from The Golden Girls.

Monday came upon us, and wasted no time in wreaking havoc. Clint woke up very early that day with what we now know was a stomach bug--I originally thought it was from his meat lover's pizza the night before or just too many fruity pool drinks, and I admit I could have been more concerned. We slept in, and when he felt a bit better, decided that we would go back to our favorite spot by the Royal towers pool and take it easy for the afternoon. We barely put down our towels and sunscreen when our phones started buzzing, and I'm sad to say we spent the rest of the afternoon making phone calls, returning emails, and texting with our real estate agent, the plumber, and my mom who was kind enough to pet sit for us. Nothing will put a damper on your good time like sitting by the beach discussing sump pumps and leaky toilets. We couldn't get a minute's peace. Clint was still feeling terrible, so while I got ready for dinner, he took all the medicine he could find in the gallon-size freezer bag of pills I had packed (never leave home without it) and took himself a much needed nap. He nibbled on his dinner, sipped a Coca Cola (I adamantly believed it will cure what ails you), and we were in bed by 10:00.

Even though Monday wasn't the best, the people watching certainly was: did you know you could find a sexy swimsuit with sleeves?

Fresh off his nap, Clint and I off to dinner Monday night.
It was the last time I felt good on the trip, sadly.

I had set the alarm bright and early Tuesday morning so we could make up for Monday and enjoy our last full day on Paradise Island. Thank the Lord that when that alarm went off, it was pouring down rain outside, because somewhere between 4:00 and 5:00 a.m., I woke up with the same bug Clint had the day before, complete with body aches, chills, and a fever. It rained until noon, and at that point I forced myself out of bed and out to the Lagoon Bar and Grill for a turkey sandwich. I felt like death, but mercifully, it was overcast and so we both wearily settled into our poolside chairs. I would like to tell you that we enjoyed a quiet, peaceful afternoon, but the buyers for our home have been relentless with their questions and concerns. The texts and phone calls, including three calls with Benjamin Franklin Plumbing, finally wrapped up about the time we were ready to call it a day. My 24-hour bug was only a few hours old at this point, but I couldn't let our vacation slip past. The Miami Vice is what the good people at Atlantis call a half pina colada/half strawberry daiquiri and it's my most favorite vacation cocktail. I had to have one, stomach issues or no, and so we ordered ourselves a round. After we finished those, we grabbed two tubes and made one last pass at those water slides again before heading back to the room.

Smile and say "Miami Vice!" The classics never go out of style.

This chair is the ultimate photo opportunity at Atlantis.
If you don't have your picture made at the chair, did you even go to Atlantis?

This time at dinner, it was my turn to order the Coca Cola (and a kid's macaroni and cheese). We sadly but sickly made our way back to our room and fell asleep listening to a fierce thunderstorm outside. Thank goodness I woke up feeling not-quite-good but much better on Wednesday, just in time to pack our bags and head for home. We made a last meander through the resort to see it all one more time, and then caught the shuttle to the airport. Time to head home, where Cotton, and plenty more home selling headaches were waiting for us.

Our friends Kathy and Nicole told us about these waterproof phone cases ($8.99 for two on Amazon). More than just functional, y'all: they were everywhere! They are the new trend, the must-have, move-over-selfie-stick. Thank you ladies for keeping us current.

The Bahamas tourism folks love the saying "It's better in the Bahamas." I have always agreed with that sentiment wholeheartedly, and even though this trip wasn't the best, I'm comforting myself that talking about due diligence, subfloors, mildew removal, closing costs, and the like are less of a misery when they are done within steps of the ocean, right? We came, we saw, and we are planning on going back next year for another stay that--dare I say it: is even better.

Well, most of the time, anyway.

Not Too Bright

I don't know if you've noticed (and if you haven't, bless your heart, you might be part of the problem), but the world seems to have gotten...a little bit dumb lately. I don't mean in the goofy, lovable, quirky way so much as I mean the jaw-droppingly, sound-the-alarm, what is happening here kind of circumstance that leaves you wondering if you're the only functioning human left. I have encountered my share of stupid lately, and I feel the need to share. Misery loves company, after all.

A few months ago, I was in the early throes of my broken ankle. It was particularly hot that day, and I had expended most of my energy and gusto hobbling to the orthopedist for a checkup. Mercifully, he gave me a new pain medicine prescription, and so I made my way to my local pharmacy to have it filled. As I waited in line, uncomfortably shifting my weight onto my good foot and getting more tired and woozy by the second, a pharmacy technician opened up a new line and asked if he could help whoever was next. I kid you not, the woman behind me, who was perhaps in her early 60s (old enough to know better and too young to play the little old lady card), who appeared to be in excellent health, sidestepped my unsteady stance and walked right up to the counter. This is rude, it is unacceptable, and it cannot stand. I did what any preturbed Southerner does in these type situations: I threw up my hands, gave a bewildered stare, and loudly exclaimed, "Ma'am. MA'AM. Really?" She feigned shock, paused for a half second, and then asked, "Oh, I guess I was behind you, wasn't I? Did you want to go next?" Are you kidding me? I did and I do, and I got my prescription and got the heck out of there. I didn't want to be driving on the road at the same time as that half wit.

Not too long after that, I was making small talk with an acquaintance that could have potentially turned into a real, actual friendship. I mentioned to this woman that, as my ankle healed, I had been given permission to ride a stationary bike, and luckily we had one at home. To my amazement, she tipped her head inquisitively to the side (much in the same way dogs do when curious about something) and asked, "What's a stationary bike?" I decided then and there we would never be friends. Then I wondered if she thought I was talking about a "stationery" bike, and I laughed at the idea of a bike made from beautiful paper and note cards. Then I realized she probably had no idea what stationery is either, and I quit thinking about any of it because I was afraid I would wind up in a straight jacket.

As of late, I have had a gentleman stand in my kitchen and inquire whether or not our home has a fireplace--it was literally 15 feet behind him in plain view, and a neighborhood lady I talk to when I'm out walking the dog repeatedly say "curtsy" when she meant "courtesy" (much like the stationary bike moment, this one did give me some funny visuals, so it wasn't all bad). I'm not sure if it's something in the water, if it's the time we spend mindlessly on our phones, the way the Kardashians keep multiplying at an alarming rate, or what exactly it is that is causing this outbreak of dumb, but take a look: it's all around you. And the more I encounter it, the less patience I have for it. I think, as a "curtsy" to those around me, I need a timeout.

If you don't see me by Christmas, maybe hop on your stationary bike and come look for me. I may or may not be standing near my fireplace.

Technical Difficulties

I'm not sure how or why it happened, but you probably got an email from For Whom the Belle Tolls that looked like a new blog post, except it was a Halloween "What's Really Scary" post from October of last year! While I have been thinking and wishing and hoping for Halloween (and fall) to roll around, I can assure you I did not resend that little trick/treat for your reading pleasure.

Still, if it reached your inbox, I hope it conjures thoughts of cooler days, crisp and colorful leaves, apples, pumpkins, scarecrows...I'm getting carried away. Fall is my favorite time of year, so maybe that technical glitch is really a signal that it is on the way.

Thanks for reading, and I'll have something new (and hopefully more relevant) for you soon!