Quarantine

I'm wearing jeans today. Normally, I don't consider that an accomplishment, but in these times of social distancing, staying home, sheltering in place--whatever you want to call it--donning any pair of real pants that don't have an elastic waistband feels like dressing up. It hasn't even been two full weeks yet since North Carolina began closing down and isolating, but it feels like this strange way of life has been going on forever. I'm feeling pretty mean, not so lean, and very much in quarantine.

This coronavirus pandemic has changed all of our lives to some kind of surreal alternate universe. People are working from home, schools are out indefinitely, and toilet paper has become the hottest product of the year. 2020 has officially gone off the rails. As you may know, I'm a housewife, so the working from home part was already part of my norm. Only now I am joined by my hubby and of course, our new addition to the family in the form of a five pound furball of puppy fury named Charlie. We're circling each other like angry sharks up in here.

So far, we are coping moderately well. There has been a fair share of eye-rolling, deep sighs, and plenty of prayer...and that's just on my end. I'm doing my best to stay in some kind of routine, although a pretty pathetic one at that. Most days are low ponytail days (I save my flat iron for special occasions like Friday or a super fun trip to the half-empty grocery store). I'm still wearing makeup, but I switched to my backup, drugstore stash because I can't bear the thought of wasting good mascara on a quarantine. (I had a friend tell me she hasn't worn makeup in days. For me, it's at least some way to distract and entertain myself, so don't be surprised if you see me out for a walk with a smoky eye and winged eyeliner...I'm bored). Clint, on the other hand, has gone the opposite route: although he still gets up at his usual zero dark thirty time, his work attire frequently consists of his decade-old Homer Simpson pajama pants and the ever-growing "Corona-beard" he is growing in honor of this occasion. He aims to shower by lunch. To each their quarantine own.

Desperate to entertain ourselves, checking the mail has become quite the fun outing every day. If I keep online shopping the way I have been, Clint is going to need a second job to support my COVID19 buying. As of this point, I am the economic stimulus. I've bought outdoor patio cushions, a fireplace screen, a pair of Golden Girls pajamas (those are clearly a need, not a want), and lots and lots of puppy supplies. Clint has installed a brand new mailbox and is designing (more) custom shelving for his side of the closet, plus there has been talk of aerating and seeding the outskirts of our yard. We may add on to the house just for something to do. Maybe we need a third story?

Speaking of puppy supplies, Charlie, on the other hand, is living his best dog life. He has both his humans confined almost all of the time and no shortage of attention for all his antics. We are walking him at least once a day to keep the walls from closing in and to feel some sunshine on our down-turned faces. The neighbors, who are as stir crazy as we are, can't get enough of the little guy so he is gaining quite a collection of friends as well. Who wouldn't want to be shut in with a nipping, biting, chewing, frenzied, crazy puppy? Ah, these are the days. And I have the bite marks to prove it.

This guy is fully enjoying the effects of social distancing.

We have worked on puzzles, organized closets, cooked, cleaned, and watched some really questionable TV shows and movies (Tiger King, anyone?). I'm exercising every morning just for something else to do, although I'm not sure it can hold off all the snacks we are using to self-medicate. Oh, the snacks. I've decided if there is ever a need to ration our food supply, we are goners. We buy bigger sizes of snack foods and lie to ourselves "this way it will last longer." Hint: it does not last longer. Cheetos and Chex Mix and candy, oh my. All of a sudden, it's Reese's Easter egg season and the gyms are all closed. Summer is going to be quite a sight to behold, y'all.

How to spend a spring Saturday, coronavirus edition.

I read a preacher's thoughts on our current situation and he intimated that we are being taught a lesson in slowing down, not depending on busyness, and learning to spend quality time together again. To that, I would say: I'm a quick learner! I get it. I'll slow down, I'll be less busy, I'll stay home more. Just don't make it mandatory. I am an extroverted face toucher and these times are not my forte. I miss the mall, the nail salon, and running errands. I am a creature of habit and routine and the coronavirus has wreaked chaos.

This too, shall pass. In the meantime, I'm trying my best to wear real pants on occasion and keep my kitchen snack visits down to once an hour, or I might not fit through the door when we are able to leave the house. I wish you health, good fortune, and plenty of binge worthy shows in the meantime. I'll stay six feet away from you when I see you in the toilet paper aisle. Stay well!

Just a helpful quarantine guideline.