Wednesday, June 26, 2013

It's Those Little Moments....

You may have heard the saying, "Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the number of moments that take your breath away." Yeah, breathless moments are fabulous, but that's not really what defines most of our days/weeks/lives. Nope, the ones that really make us all who we are are the ones your mother told you build character, those smack-to-the-forehead moments; the ones that leave you blushing, and really test your ability to remain calm and sane.

Like that moment you are on your way to meet someone, high fiving yourself for being right on time, and then realize you forgot something and have to go all the way back home. Return to start.

When you walk into a room full of strangers and are so relieved to see a friendly face waving to you...and then realize they are waving to the person behind you.

The panicked moment when you're talking to someone but you can't remember their name, so you try to avoid introducing them to the person you're with. Hey there, you!

That awkward moment when you realize you've kept talking after the call dropped out. Sometimes I will throw in a "Can you still hear me? Oh, I think I may have lost you...." only it's probably been a full 60 seconds since the call ended. I just didn't realize it.

Or when you say good-bye to someone, but then you both continue walking in the same direction.

You try to open a door by pulling it, when the sign saying PUSH is staring you in the face. Give your self an additional 'moment' if there is someone behind you waiting and watching.

You finally finish exercising and feel slimmer already--toned, tightened, lean--and then have to peel your sweaty Spandex off your body, which gives you the feeling of being a sausage, stuck in the casing. I have had times of sheer terror when I thought I would have to cut the clothes off my body.

When you leave a room angrily and dramatically, then realize you forgot something and have to go back in to get it. These little moments will make you wonder if you really need those car keys, or if you should just abandon your car and walk home.

I can't decide which of these is worse: when you ask someone when they are due and they are not pregnant, or when someone asks if you're pregnant and you're not. A friend told me over the weekend that, in order to avoid these type moments, you should refrain from discussing whether or not someone is pregnant unless they are in the delivery room at that moment.

How about that moment at the drive-thru when you take big ol' swig of your Diet Coke, only to find out it is the sweet tea the person behind you ordered? (Imagine their moment, when instead of a big sip of sugar, they get your Diet Nectar of the Gods instead).

Or when your dental hygienist is, for some reason, asking you a string of questions that are not yes or no, and she has instruments in your mouth. Can I blink Morse code in response?

Coming home at the end of an evening and thinking how amused and entertained everyone looked while you were telling that funny story, then seeing your reflection and realizing they were probably looking at that piece of spinach stuck to your tooth.

You blurt out the wrong answer...with great confidence. Oh, really, that wasn't it?

How about when you glance back over your shoulder, then trip over something because you weren't looking? I was leaving a shoe store years ago, when the owner wished me good luck in a pageant I was competing in and said she had no doubt I would take home the crown. I turned to say thank you, and tripped over the curb in the process. I know she was impressed by all that grace and poise sprawled out in her parking lot.

The moment in your backyard, when you are performing old pep rally dance routines from high school, and your neighbor sees and thinks knows you are crazy. Wait, is that one just me?

The list goes on and on, and on. The good news is that we can all relate because it happens to most everyone (although I do seem to be higher than average on the receiving end of such situations). So, pull the toilet paper off your shoe, give that door a good, strong pull, and feel free to let what's-her-name make her own introduction. Go ahead, seize the moment (before it seizes you)!


  1. Love this! Like the time I walked out of the bathroom, trying to strut my stuff in front of a certain Sigma Chi I was gaga over, and realized I was trailing nearly an entire roll of toilet paper with me on the bottom of my shoe. HORROR.

    1. But Mick: just think of all the character that moment built! Gah!

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